


A pin

by Thorinsmut



Series: Balin and Hobbits [2]
Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, moral dillemma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 05:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorinsmut/pseuds/Thorinsmut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a companion piece to Balin likes Hobbits, as told from the perspective of one of his Hobbit lovers who is having a moral dilemma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A pin

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted at http://thorinsmut.tumblr.com/post/40781817192/a-pin

She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet… the pin turning over and over in her fingers, biting her lip in indecision as she looked down at it.

“Just a few holes, he’ll never notice.” Her sister had said… but she was not so sure. He was always so careful to check, and how angry might he be if he found out her deception? He might never forgive her.  
“If he really loves children as much as you say…” her sister had assured her… but once again she was not sure.  
Oh, Balin did love children, she knew that. She had apologized profusely the first time she was going to have to leave their cozy rented Hobbit hole overnight to babysit her nieces and nephews, only to have him smile, rubbing his thumb across the apple of her cheek.  
“Bring them over, lass.” He’d said, “It’ll make the place cheerful.”  
So she had… and he had charmed the children as surely as he had charmed her when they first met, telling them stories and letting them climb in his lap and play with his long white beard once they were over being intimidated by it.  
His eyes had sparkled at their antics as they tried to impress him… and he had been a natural helping get them all fed and dressed for bed… he had even sung them to sleep with a few of his sad chanting dwarf songs.  
Their lovemaking that night had been the sweetest and tenderest of her life.  
He had encouraged her to bring the children over whenever she wanted… and she had, they loved him, and he was always so happy to be surrounded by them. She would sometimes catch him watching her, when she was surrounded by children, the strangest wistful look on his face…

Just a few holes… the pin turned in her fingers again, but still she hesitated. Her Balin loved children, but would he want the responsibility of having his _own_ children? She couldn’t know. She didn’t know, even, how long he might want _her_. If he was a Hobbit, of course he would marry her if she were pregnant with his child… but did Dwarves do things the same way? There had never been any sort of _agreement_ between them, they had become lovers, and she had moved in with him, and he supported her, but there had never been talk of permanence. Never.  
That’s what the pin was for. For permanence.  
The pin turned over in her fingers again, as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, looking down at it.  
Just a few holes… but she hesitated.

Her family liked Balin… even though he was a Dwarf. He was just so _polite_ , and though he dressed strangely, he dressed _well_ , and he ate well, and he lived in a proper Hobbit hole… and he was respectable, working as he did writing letters and contracts in his neat calligraphy. Her family was able to overlook the beard… just as she had.  
What a funny courtship it had been… she had not realized at first that he was courting her. She had taken his complements as friendliness… she had taken his braiding of her hair to keep it out of her face as she worked as simple kindness… it was the gifts of flowers that made her realize, but by that time she was fond of him and his advances, now that she knew what they were, were welcome.  
Balin was such a fine lover, too, having had such a long life to perfect the art. She had been nervous, of course, the first time she came to his bed… She had worried that Dwarven lovemaking might be harsh, but she should have known that he would be as gentle in that as in everything. The feeling of his strength held in check, arms that could so easily crush her cradling her instead… she could not get enough. He was not like any lover she’d ever had, but she adored the feel of his rough beard against her skin, loved to run her hands through the hair on his broad chest, feeling the old war scars and the tattoos who’s meaning she had never dared ask… and he knew more about how to make a Hobbit lass moan than any Hobbit lover she’d had…  
And she loved him. It was not a word that had ever been said between them. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, bear his children, grow old beside him, and watch that sadness that she sometimes glimpsed in his eyes fade away… but she could not know if that was what he wanted. He never brought it up, and it was not the girl’s place to bring up the subject, and she was proper in that… as proper as a girl who would take a Dwarf for a lover could be…

The pin turned in her fingers.  
“Just a few holes, he’ll never notice.” her sister had said, when she had brought up the subject, “You’ll not be the first to catch her man that way.”

There was no one she would rather spend her life with than Balin, no one who was that strong, and kind, who always treated her with such respect…  
ah, that word… Respect.  
The pin turned in her fingers a final time. To repay such trust and respect with deception… she would not be worthy of him, would she?  
She closed the drawer with a sigh, turning away, the protective sheath he used for their lovemaking undamaged.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: For the interested, this wikipedia article on the history of condoms is educational http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_condoms#18th_century


End file.
